Calix Sanguinis Mei
by Nerva al'Thor
Summary: -RidouKaname- You will always be fond of me.


**That girl will never understand you the way I do.**

I was a child when I first met you, a child who, like any other youth, had his hopes and dreams. I had two very simple dreams – to win the heart of my sister, and to get crowned as the next absolute monarch of the vampire race, after my father had ruled out his term and voluntarily stepped down from the throne like you did when you made way for your eldest son all those centuries ago.

It was my father who introduced you to me. You were a picture, an ikon, an image feebly tried to get preserved on a piece of wood, and the whole arrangement of it didn't do your face justice. You, who looked a lot like myself, my father, my mother, my pitiful excuse for a younger brother, and my sister. It was in our shared resemblance with Juuri that I first took delight in. It was as if a path opened before me and showed me all of the colorful years of your life, a life that I could imagine, something that I could relate to.

I asked for your ikon, and my father gave it to me. I always started my evenings staring at your face, and then staring at Juuri's. Life was simple. I had two very reachable goals, and I knew I could take the vampire race to new heights, make up for where my parents had failed. I was a young pureblood with every reason to live, and live I shall, I promised myself, and make my life as colorful and deserving to compared with yours.

Things were simple then.

**What would you have done when people shattered your dreams?**

**That girl would not understand.**

**She had always been sheltered for the crucial years of her boring life.**

**What does she know of sorrow and despair?**

**Nothing.**

They took my inheritance from me, and gave away Juuri to my sorry excuse for a younger brother. It would have been the best thing to lash out at those around us, this family that had long lost its glory – the glory you worked hard to build and cement as legend.

Legend. Hah. There is no legend to speak of in the Kuran family. The Kuran family now is nothing but a bunch of paupers dressed in silk, trying their very best at pretending they're human when every night they relish fresh blood. Hypocrites. Lowly vampires that you would have been shamed to even call your descendants.

The Kuran was broken the moment my father took the throne, I understood that now.

But nobody understood me.

Let them banish me from the family tree! I want no part of their lowly, dumb group, so easily manipulated to give Asato Ichijou the reigns he had always wanted! I am no part of anything weak and rotten! Your legacy lives in me, and they have let it die within them along with their pride. But I will not.

I will not.

Let him have Juuri. Their happiness will not last.

I shall have what is mine.

**They say I am enthralled with the past.**

**I make no move to deny it.**

**The past that shines with you is much better than the sorry excuse of a society I was born in.**

I took out your ikon more and more. I searched for the answers in your face, this inexcusable imitation on wood. I clung to what I had left. You were the only one I had left, and it was to you that I bewailed all of their failings. They failed me! Surely you understand that! You knew the disappointment, the frustration and the failure – you know how the wounds inflicted by others felt, and I knew you would understand!

You, who were wounded by others just like me. Only you chose to sleep, and severed yourself from us, from me.

But I will not sleep.

Humans say sleep is for the weak. Could they have any idea how right they were all along?

I will not succumb to weakness. I shall have what is mine.

Your face on the wood beckons me. I rage at your apathy. How dare you sleep! You, the most powerful monster of all – you could have taught them how it was to be truly vampire! How dare you leave me into this mess! You could have waited for me! You could have waited, a few more years, and we would have showed them what it was to be the creature humans feared us to be!

You left me alone.

Like Juuri, you left me alone even before I could know you.

**That girl will live just like her parents.**

**Belonging neither here nor there.**

**Nowhere to go to.**

**She will keep pretending she is human.**

**That is her reason for living.**

**But how long until the theatrics remind her of what she is?**

**She will not be able to deny the burning of her throat.**

**Then she will realize she is a monster.**

**How can she accept that she is a beast?**

**Lie to herself?**

**Hah.**

I understand it now. You squandered your strength in your waking years. You showed mercy when there should have only been ruthlessness. I feel my heart shattering all over again. This can't be true. You…you…you didn't…right?

TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE. YOU ARE NOT WEAK LIKE THE REST OF THEM! YOU ARE NOT! YOU WERE NOT!

You…

**I met you first.**

**I desired you first.**

**I loved you first.**

**I ****found** **you first.**

…

**I tasted your blood first.**

I let them pull me into the dazzling lights and intoxicating blood-wine of their world. I let them match me with this and that woman; I let myself be engaged to a worthless hag who pined over a disgusting mortal. I watched Juuri glow with happiness that she should have shared with me. I watched Asato Ichijou and his mongrels wield the power that should have been mine alone.

I did all this to find you.

I looked for you in all the corners of the world. History taught us that you fled into the coffin after you mindlessly squandered your life into meaningless things. Until you realized there was nothing left for you. You wrought your own destruction, and tried to take everyone with you. Well then, you should have.

Do you know where I found you?

It was a lonely place, out in the tallest mountains of the world, where the universe melded with snow. It was there that you now lay, frozen in ice and in time. I hauled you out of the ice. You didn't deserve such a lonely place. I took you home, to that place of honor where your coffin now lay, on that elevated dais with the crest of the family that you started.

I opened your coffin. I didn't cringe at the dry husk that greeted me. I found you. My desire rose to a crescendo inside me. I wanted you so much I wanted to drink all of you. I broke into tears and wept like a frightened child. I touched your ruined hands, your face. I kissed your lifeless lips as tears of blood ran down my cheeks.

**When will you stop pretending to be that girl's brother?**

**Do you think she will forgive the deception you and her sorry little parents called her life?**

**Do you?**

**It doesn't suit you to be like this.**

**To be a doting little moron.**

I bled that baby dry. I didn't care that it was my nephew. I wanted you awake. Awake and alive, so you could see me tear your heart out and consume it right before your eyes! Yes, I wanted to relish my revenge! I wanted to relish my victory! I wanted you to wake and see!

I had never felt so thrilled when your eyelids fluttered. I was giddy. I wanted to bite you rightaway. When you opened your eyes I was there. My fangs tore through your neck. You gave a soft rippling sigh beneath me. I could feel your hands run through my hair.

And then…

I found myself sprawled on the floor, with you on top of me. Your fangs buried deep in my neck. I struggled. We fought divinely against each other, our voices echoing in the stone walls of that tomb. Despite the blood bond that I bound you with, you had an incredible willpower. I see now your strength of ages, and legend. It seemed that I was powerless, and for a moment I let myself succumb to your ancient majesty.

I relished your scent against my skin. I watched, open-mouthed and enthralled, as you moved with abandon above me. Enthralled. I was enthralled. I tried not to be swept away completely. I tried really hard. I reached for your neck and bit down just as the height of intimacy swept over us both, and gave way to the final sigh.

You were mine.

Oh, it feels great. To have been the one to trap the most powerful monster of all.

**That girl will never understand you the way I do.**

You looked comical after I completed the bind that reduced you to a child. You would never remember the taste of my blood, except perhaps later. I let you go to the ruined family of my brother and sister, reluctantly. I waited in years – waiting was oh so easy for me now – waited until you were back to your normal self, and then I could relish the chase all over again, when I hunted you down once more.

The wait was soon over. I could say I was happy I pushed my inexcusable siblings to end their own uninteresting lives. They were a waste of your pure blood, descendants that never deserved the stature of the blood in their veins. Their daughter would be the same.

When you came running out the door to Haruka's aid, I felt enthralled all over again. The blood bond thrummed with you so near, and though you hid it perfectly, I knew you could feel the tug of your master's will. Juuri is no longer alive, yet I have her daughter, and you, within easy grasp.

Though you tore me to bits, I already knew the answer.

You will never be able to get rid of me.

**Why do you waste your time pretending?**

**You will never be her brother.**

I sense you bristle as I reform behind you, as you sit on your empty coffin in the depths of the family crypt. I reach with my hands and caress your cheek, and reluctantly, you lean into my touch, a smile on your lips. A smile that can so easily mean a million things at once – you were unpredictable, I knew that. I move closer, whisper the words, and sink my fangs into your neck.

But my dominance is easily challenged.

You never liked being topped by someone else. Only when they give you a hell of a fight will you relent and let them have control over you. That has always been the case, has it not, even in this dance of blood between us. A dance that no one knows, a dance that not even _she_ could have imagined. A dance easily mistaken for outright hostility.

And, once again, I am underneath you. I am your descendant. The only one who dared pull you up from the depths of your coffin. I relish that fact. Yet as we exchange blood and heat, the blood bond reminds you that I am your master. Your body tenses with hate and desire. I relish it. You are mine, and mine alone. I whisper the words, yet you resist with your every being, and refuse to let me have control. I repeat the words. I sense your will waver. I bite into your neck and you weaken completely.

That ikon was a pale imitation of your agelessness. I have all of it underneath me now. We fight all over again, moving against each other, and still you struggle beneath me, and I marvel at your strength. I feel my eyelids flutter, and I hiss your name into the solitude of the chambers. Beneath me, I feel you sigh and relax in this pleasure.

I open my eyes, rest my lips against yours, our bloodstained fangs touching, and whisper the words.

**You will always be fond of me.**

**I represent to you all the things that you hate, yet cannot get rid of completely.**

**I will always be with you.**

**Until you are ashes.**


End file.
